Monday, March 23, 2015

Parenting Thoughts: Baby Prefers Yaya than Mommy

Mommy and Daddy travel to work from 6am to 8am.  Mommy and Daddy work from 8am to 5pm.  Mommy and Daddy travel home from 5pm to 8pm (because it’s traffic).  Baby is left with Yaya or Nanny for the whole duration that Mommy and Daddy goes to work.  This is the scenario from Mondays to Fridays or if the parents are unlucky, even until Saturdays.  And most of the time, because of this scenario, baby prefers Yaya over Mommy and Daddy.

Since both the hubby and I work, the above scenario is not new to us.  Yes, we have our share of horrible Yayas, but we do have our share of lovable Yayas too.  Neo’s current Yaya, though we really don’t consider her as such because to us, she is family, is a very lovable one.  In fact, there are a lot of times that Neo would prefer Ate Espie, his Yaya, over us.  And when I say a lot, it’s a lot.

Neo with his Ate Espie.

Do I feel jealous because Neo prefers Ate Espie?  No.  Because I can only think of one reason why he prefers Ate over me – Ate is treating him well whenever we’re out.

Do I feel inadequate as a mom?  No.  Because I know, I try my best to work hard for his future during working days and I try my best to bond with him during non-working days.

But of course, because we work, we have to make sure that Neo won't feel that we don't give him much time so we create bonding times with him.  How do we do it?

Weekends are spent with Neo.  We seldom schedule activities that will not include Neo during weekends.  And the little boy knows this.  During Mondays to Fridays, when both Mama and Papa are dressed up and saying goodbyes to Neo, he obliges and kisses back – no drama.  But during weekends, when Mama and Papa are dressed up and he is still in his pambahay clothes – the house is suddenly so loud with cries of “sama si Neo!”.

Kisses and hugs that are uniquely from Mama.  Neo never ran out of kisses and hugs.  Thanks to our family who loves him dearly.  But kisses and hugs in the morning when he wakes up and kisses and hugs in the evening before he sleeps are uniquely from Mama. 

Bonding through studying.  Neo goes to day care and learns a lot from it.  But it’s no mystery that he adores and idolizes his Papa so much.  So 30 minutes before going to sleep, Papa and Neo will always have some bonding time over lessons (lessons vary though – from school lessons to android games lessons).

Co-sleeping.  He is more than 3 years old, but Neo still co-sleeps with us.  Though I love my precious sleep, and co-sleeping robs that from me, I will have it no other way.  Because time will come, that Neo will eventually want to sleep on his own bed and his own room.  I don’t want to waste this opportunity that I can still co-sleep with him.

I will not and will never compete with Neo’s attention be it over his Papa, his Lolos and Lolas, or his Ate Espie.  But I would love to have a special bond with him that is called Mother and Son.  Not preference but that he knows that at the end of the day, Mama will always be his Mama no matter who he prefers to be with the whole day.


  1. I remember when I was still working in the office, it happened to me. When my baby bunso cries, she prefers the yaya. It broke my heart. With God's blessing, I was able to transition to be a work at home mom. These days, my bunso has her own bed na but she always negotiate with her dad to let me sleep with her :-) Pinag aagawan na ako sa bahay :-)

    But you are correct. Even though babies might prefer the yaya for now, eventually, the baby will still recognize you as his mom, as long you give him/her quality time and your whole heart when you are with him. Syempre kay mommy sya nanggaling.

  2. In our case, pag kaming dalawa ni Gwen, para kaming aso't pusa. Pag sa yaya nya, magkasundong-magkasundo na parang magkalaro lang.

    We have the same set-up at home. And I never felt jealous because I know that my daughter is in good hands. Sana dumami pa ang Ate Espie sa mundo :)

  3. I could relate. My daughter prefers her ate (nanny) over me. And would you believe that the first word she uttered was ATE not mommy or mama? I really feel guilty. Feeling ko kulang time ko for her. On the other side, I feel relieved because I'm quite sure that she's in good hands whenever I and my husband are out for work. Like you, swerte ko kay ATE.
    I also co-sleep pala with my baby.


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